Sicko reasons to watch every* tanking team

Asterisk required.

Fans with a healthier basketball-life balance than I need not read much further (although I’d appreciate it if you do!), but if you’re wondering why you should tune in when your favorite team plays the dregs of the league, I’ve got you covered.

Every squad has fun storylines and players to watch down the season’s stretch; some are just a little more buried than others.

Utah Jazz

The Jazz may not win many more games, but they could have the most highlights thanks to Isaiah Collier, one of the flashiest and most prolific passers in the league. He’s at his best throwing creative alley-oops:

And I’m always a sucker for a good underhanded bowling-ball pass, something Collier whips out more often than anyone this side of Josh Giddey:

The three-pointer has to fall at some point, and the turnovers need to pack their bags and exit Yikestown, but Collier is the player most likely to put up a stat line that makes your eyes pop out of your head like a cartoon wolf.

And hey, much-discussed rookie Ace Bailey has assumed a larger bucket-getting burden in the New Year. His development as an off-ball scorer in Will Hardy’s whirring offense will quietly be an important storyline for the future.

Chicago Bulls

The obvious answers here are Josh Giddey’s electric passing and second-year player Matas Buzelis’ continued evolution into a two-way force. Chicago fans have perhaps too lofty expectations for Buzelis, but dunkstronauts who can lace threes and block everything in sight are a rare and valuable player archetype. I know the national consensus is that Chicago is a rough viewing experience, but those two alone keep the Bulls watchable (to me, anyway).

But a subtler storyline involves reclamation projects. The Bulls made all sorts of trades at the deadline and ended up with a team filled with undersized guards, including two who desperately needed a change of scenery.

Rob Dillingham showed absolutely nothing in Minnesota, but he should (emphasis on should) slot right into the backup point guard spot now that Josh Giddey has returned. He must find his confidence from beyond the arc to succeed: Getting up only six three-point attempts in 84 minutes with the Bulls so far isn’t nearly enough, and small guards who won’t shoot, can’t finish, and can’t defend don’t have much value in the NBA. I’m not a believer in Dillingham, but he’ll have an opportunity to prove me wrong.

I’m a little higher on former Piston Jaden Ivey, despite this comically horrendous pass.

The Detroit version of Ivey was a square peg in a round hole. He was a combo guard forced first to play too much point guard and then to fit in beneath Cade Cunningham’s shadow. That said, his improvements were marginal, but real, particularly as an off-ball player. With restricted free agency looming, I’m curious how much he can rehabilitate his value after a broken fibula and then an unrelated(?) knee surgery torpedoed last season and the start of this one.

I wrote most of this before last night’s game against the Raptors, in which Dillingham played just 10 minutes, and Ivey played not at all. If these guys don’t get any burn going forward, stick with the first paragraph.

Sacramento Kings

Really, there was just one major reason to watch the Kings down the stretch: The try-hard antics of undrafted centerDylan Cardwell. Only Charlotte’s Moussa Diabate and, perhaps, Detroit’s Paul Reed can match Cardwell’s energy. And like Diabate, Cardwell possesses a legitimate delight for the game. Nobody is as excited about anything as Cardwell after he blocks a shot (and, to be fair, he blocks the **** out of this shot):

The Kings need someone who generates joy. Cardwell exudes it.

His most common celebration is just keeping both arms up in the air after a block and screaming triumphantly, ecstatic that the refs didn’t call him for a foul this time (his 7.1% foul rate is the league’s highest for anyone with at least 200 minutes).

And here’s something fun: In 1,181 Cleaning the Glass possessions, the Kings are basically a neutral team when Cardwell is on the court (-0.2 net rating). Without him? Opponents outscore them by 13.4 points per 100 possessions. Cardwell’s presence at the end of blowouts when the other team has stopped trying somewhat buoys this number, but it’s still one of those facts I keep in my back pocket when thinking about next season.

Update: I wrote this blurb on Wednesday, and almost immediately after putting words to digital paper, Cardwell sprained his ankle. He is now expected to miss most or all of the remaining season.

I can’t believe I wrote a sentence about Cardwell being the only Kings player who can generate joy, and hours later, he gets hurt. That perfectly sums up Sacramento’s existence this season.

So that leaves us with… uh… Malik Monk still has the occasional monster dunk? First-round pick Nique Clifford will be given as many minutes as he can handle. Devin Carter, exhumed from the doghouse, is a valiant defender.

Ugh, I can’t even sell myself on this. I am sorry, Sacramento fans. You don’t deserve this. Nobody deserves this.

Memphis Grizzlies

The Grizzlies went from having no ballhandlers at all at the start of the season to having too many to play now.

I have no idea what they’ll do with Ja Morant, although an offseason divorce feels inevitable. Cam Spencer emerged as a deadeye shooter and valuable contributor during the team’s early games, and while he’s not getting any buzz for it, he has a down-ballot case for MIP, as well. Scottie Pippen Jr. is finally back from injury, as is Ty Jerome. Jerome hasn’t missed a beat from his monster regular season for Cleveland last year, as he’s hitting virtually everything he flings up and drawing a massive amount of free throws (5.5 per game in just 20 minutes). The team just traded for Walter Clayton, a first-rounder from Florida, and also has two-way standout Javon Small to drive the tank.

All six of those players are worthy of playing time, albeit for very different reasons. Watching Memphis figure out its pecking order will be an underrated down-the-stretch storyline.

This isn’t guard-related, but I also want to see what GG Jackson can do. Without Jaren Jackson Jr. around, the 21-year-old athletic forward has taken on a much larger scoring load. Defensive and decision-making issues have plagued him in the past, but he ought to have a much longer leash as the season winds down.

Memphis has a surprising amount of young talent and depth for a team that decided to blow up its core this season (we didn’t even talk about their beastly rookie, Cedric Coward, injured big man Zach Edey, or last year’s third-place finalist for Rookie of the Year, Jaylen Wells!).

Milwaukee Bucks

The Bucks are unusual in that their incentives to tank aren’t quite as clear as the rest of the teams here. They don’t control their own draft pick, as the better selection between Milwaukee and New Orleans goes to Atlanta. But the Pelicans are so, so bad (and that’s with a healthy and productive Zion; imagine if he’s hurt or shut down for the season). The Bucks could lean into the tank anyway and still have a pretty good shot at keeping their pick.

They also have to navigate the minefield that is Giannis Antetokounmpo’s mindset. Will he want to come back and push for the play-in, or will he be content to take his time recovering and let this be a gap year?

I’m not sure what direction they’ll pick, and they may well change their minds along the way.

Regardless, Ryan Rollins has been a two-way breakout player, and he’ll be a contender for Most Improved. And recent trade additions Cam Thomas and Ousmane Dieng have my interest as well.

Thomas dropped 34 points in just 25 minutes in a Bucks win over Orlando, while Dieng has scored 17 and 19 points in his last two games, the latter in a revenge match against former employer Oklahoma City that also included 11 rebounds and a whopping four blocks.

New faces in new places always have a little intrigue. I’m pretty sure I know who Thomas and Dieng are as players, but I’m willing to give them the next 25 games to prove they can be something more. Dieng, in particular, is just 22 despite participating in his fourth NBA season. He could have plenty of room to improve.

Washington Wizards

The Wiz want to tank so bad that they’re giving rest days to guys who can’t even legally drink yet. Alex Sarr, Kyshawn George, and others may become inconsistent participants as the Wizards lean on rookies like sharpshooter Tre Johnson, defensive standout Jamir Watkins (who is sort of the guard version of Dylan Cardwell), and Will Riley to steer them to the bottom of the standings.

I’d forgive you for skipping the days Sarr rests, but you really ought to watch him at some point. His evolution this season has been mostly unremarked upon thanks to (*sweepingly gestures at Washington*), but consider this: He’s improved everywhere. He’s gone from a below-average rebounder to a perfectly cromulent one, from a poor finisher at the rim to a good one, from a bad three-point shooter to a below-average one, and from a good shotblocker to a great one. He’s even assisting more and turning it over less on a rate basis!

Sarr is still raw, still figuring things out on both sides. But he’s up to 17 points, eight rebounds, three assists, and two blocks in 28 minutes per game. Again, he’s 20. You don’t have to squint to see a very good player developing. Hopefully, we’ll have plenty more opportunities to see him.

Dallas Mavericks

I can’t imagine that a still-furious fanbase or Cooper Flagg himself would be pleased with shutting the frontrunner for ROY down for too long with his foot sprain. Still, Dallas will undoubtedly be pulling some shenanigans with valuable vets like my beloved Naji Marshall.

That said, for a team that’s in the midst of a nine-game losing streak, the Mavs are actually shockingly fun to watch! Flagg is a sensation, and he’s getting better every night. Marshall and Brandon Williams (another Poetry favorite) bring surprising verve to the team’s offense, and PJ Washington and Daniel Gafford are powerful dunkers and stout defenders. If you’re an old head (read: anybody over 30), you might still enjoy the occasional flashback performance from Khris Middleton and Klay Thompson.

The on-court product here is much more entertaining than you might expect, I promise.

Brooklyn Nets

Even though we’ve played two-thirds of the season, we still don’t know a ton about the Nets’ bevy of rookies outside of Egor Demin, whom we’ve discussed a few times recently.

But there are flashes. Nolan Traore is averaging 12 points and five assists in his last 10 games while shooting 50% from the field and 38% from deep. Drake Powell brings some athleticism and defense, and Danny Wolf has some beautiful tiki-taka passing instincts:

And non-rookie Michael Porter Jr. has put together an All-Star-caliber (although apparently not All-Star-worthy) campaign. His minutes will undoubtedly decrease, but he’s a pyromaniac scorer.

All that unfamiliar youth (plus an excellent broadcast crew and overall production) makes them a bit more of an educational watch than some of these other teams.

Indiana Pacers

New year, fresh start. Jarace Walker is coming into his own.

The burly forward struggled with inconsistency and confidence during his first two seasons, but the 22-year-old has received plenty of opportunity by default in the Pacers’ nightmarish, injury-riddled season. It took a few months, but he’s finally starting to deliver.

Since Jan 1st, he’s averaging 13 points on 60% true shooting, including 43% from deep on positional-average volume. He’s also starting to resemble the defensive player the Pacers thought they drafted, although he still has a ways to go on that end.

Walker won’t play as big a role next season for a healthier Indiana squad, but if he can carve out any spot in the rotation at all, it’ll be a pleasant surprise. He’s trending the right way.