2025-26 Season Preview Haikus, West Edition

You know the drill by now. Eastern Haikus are here. No more poetry until next year, I promise. Teams are presented in reverse order of my expectations for them.

In just a few hours, we’ll be blessed with a steaming fajita plate of hot Association basketball. Let’s go!

Utah Jazz

Virgin mountain snow
A peaceful scene, belying
Process 2.0

Key Question: What do they do with Lauri Markkanen and Walker Kessler?

How much tanking is too much tanking?

The Philadelphia 76ers once tried to answer this question. They sacrificed everything — organizational pride, watchability, public opinion — at the altar of math, pursuing high-end outcomes no matter how unlikely the odds. Did it work? Depends on who you ask. After several seasons of running out G-League teams, they got Joel Embiid and, uh, Ben Simmons and Markelle Fultz. They also got Sam Hinkie fired and accumulated zero second-round wins.

That doesn’t mean the approach was wrong; constructing a contender from scratch is always a low-probability possibility. But I do wonder about the tradeoff of increasing your future championship odds from, like, 1% to 2% by stripping away the entertainment value of the product. The cold, hard spreadsheets will say one thing, but fans might say another.

The Jazz aren’t quite at that level of basketball hell yet, but the offseason jettisoning of Jordan Clarkson, Collin Sexton, and John Collins (for almost nothing in return) puts the team perilously adjacent to Process territory. You can see the border.

Lauri Markkanen and Walker Kessler are now the only vets left guaranteed playing time. Both would have some trade suitors, but at what point does the basketball ecosystem crumble so badly that a team can’t even evaluate the players it has? There is value in having competent players, even on a team trying to maximize its lottery odds. A fine line exists between giving your youngsters room to spread their wings and giving them enough rope to hang themselves.

I’m not sure exactly where that line rests, but I do know the Jazz are in real danger of crossing it. Let’s hope Ace Bailey shows enough in his rookie season to become the tentpole star the team can start building around.

New Orleans Pelicans

On dark N’awlins nights
Does Pierre the Pelican
Dream of his old face?

Key Question: Who are Jeremiah Fears and Derik Queen?

I can’t talk about Zion Williamson’s health anymore, although I’m glad he looks so fit. I’m interested to see what Jordan Poole looks like on a team that ostensibly wants to make the play-in. Trey Murphy and Herb Jones are fantastic in their roles, and Jose Alvarado is one of my favorite League Pass watches in the league. I’ve been on the Saddiq Bey comeback tour bandwagon for so long I had to rotate the tires.

But besides Williamson’s form, nothing matters as much this year as the development of Fears and Queen, two intriguing but flawed prospects. Fears needs to prove he has other NBA skills besides dribbling (which, to be fair, he’s excellent at). Queen’s offense-first skill set needs to be absolutely tremendous to make up for defensive deficiencies, and he’s already injured.

Nobody is expecting those two guys to be stars right off the bat, but we need to at least see some semblance of NBA viability, preferably in a way that suggests a fit with Williamson.

Sacramento Kings

Do good in life, or
When the cycle turns anew
Be born a Kings fan

Key Question: Why?

Just… why?

The Kings certainly aren’t the least talented team in the NBA, but they might have the roster that makes the least sense.

I’d love to see Zach LaVine, who shot a ridiculous 45% from deep for Sacramento last year, play for a team that matters, but perhaps there’s a reason he’s never been on one in 12 seasons. DeMar DeRozan is awesome, but his anachronistic skill set inches closer to irrelevance (at least in regards to winning) with every passing day. Ditto Domantas Sabonis. I simply can’t get over ESPN ranking Russell Westbrook a top-70 fantasy basketball pick for the upcoming season.

Keegan Murray just got the big bucks (1/1 so far on my unlikely-but-plausible predictions, huzzah!) and will have to prove he’s worth it when he returns from a thumb injury, but some of the above vets will need to be moved for that to happen. Keon Ellis’ hair and defense are fun:

Rookie Nique Clifford is carrying the hopes of the entire fanbase. I’m not entirely sure why team management hates Malik Monk so much they felt the need to sign Westbrook and Dennis Schroder, neither of whom represent much of an upgrade (if any at all).

I pray the Kings blow it up this year. Everyone needs a fresh start.

Phoenix Suns

Mystery box, oh
Mystery box, what’s inside
The Jalen Green box?

Key Question: See haiku above

It’s almost certainly the contrarian in me, borderline irresponsible, but I’ve grown to like Jalen Green’s game more as seemingly everyone else in the blogosphere piles on harder and harder.

Green needs to improve a ton of things, but a fresh start will be good for him. If he can retain the harsh learnings from Ime Udoka while flourishing in a new environment, he might end up being a pretty fun fit next to the steadiness of Devin Booker (poised for a monster season).

And hey, if that’s not enough reason to keep a weather eye on the Suns, you never know when Dillon Brooks might headbutt someone!

Overall, this team will be bad. But I think/hope they’ll be bad in an interesting way, one that lightens a consensus bleak future.

Portland Trail Blazers

Longed-for homecoming
Sharpe brings thunder in his dunks
Pause at the crossroads

Key Question: How fun will they be?

In retrospect, I had Portland way too low in my League Pass rankings.